What it’s like to be a museum guard for 36 years

 One day recently, I was guarding the parking lot which I like to do because I can watch the red tail hawks circling in the thermal updrafts high above the asphalt. I shouldn’t be doing that because you never know when some dark sinister vehicle might get by me and park illegally near the loading dock. Anyway, there was this plastic shopping bag that was blowing and twirling in the wind all over the place about eighty feet up. Suddenly it went SPLAT! And got caught at the very tippy top of a tall light post. I was amazed because what are the mathematical statistical chances for that to happen? For a moment I thought what if it stays there forever? Also, nobody uses these bags anymore so it it was extra rare for that reason. Then the wind caught it the other way and it was gone.